Water: 3.5 L
Sleep: 8.5 hours
Test Food: None
Test Exercise: 15 minutes of body weight exercises (squats, mountain climbers, jumping jacks, push-ups and sit-ups)
Yesterday I abandoned testing eggs and tested BBQ steak instead. My weight was stable this morning, which means beef is a potentially inflammatory food for me and I will have to eliminate it from my diet and retest it in six months to a year’s time. No big deal.
This morning I was back to my good ole flax granola with blueberries and coconut milk and I forgot how much I enjoyed it! I will be making the apple streusel breakfast this weekend in addition to blueberry compote so that I can rotate my breakfast options a little more frequently.
For lunch I had carrot ginger soup, half an apple, pumpkin seeds and a quarter avocado on a bed of baby romaine. I am really enjoying this type of lunch (soup and salad) as it is super filling but not in that bloaty, farty, need-to-take-a-nap kind of way.
Dinner is a safe protein, likely chicken or lamb, salad and roast veggie as today is another exercise test day. I had planned on walking on my lunch break while listening to a podcast but I forgot my workout wear so will do 15 minutes of body weight exercises at home tonight.
In addition to this incredible physical health journey, I am also in the midst of an emotional and mental health journey that involves regular counseling, reading and researching, journaling and frequent moments of deep self-reflection. It is the scariest, most rewarding process I have ever experienced and I am grateful for the courage that propels me to continue exploring thoughts, emotions, memories, patterns, coping mechanisms and stories that no longer serve me.
One of the most profound things that is happening right now is this bizarre yet incredible process where I am slowly letting go of all of my fucks, as in I am giving less and less of a fuck of what people think. This is not to say that I am a completely reformed people pleasing seeker of outside validation, but I have noticed that I am doing fewer things I used to do based on my desire for acceptance, attention or validation.
This is a journey to authenticity and because I am finally ready to strip everything down and become emotionally naked, raw and vulnerable; I am experiencing an incredible deepening of relationships, especially with myself. For so long I have been wearing a mask I created as a form of protection so every time I strip away a piece of that mask to allow the true me to shine through I feel lighter. Don’t get me wrong, it is scary. In the moment it seems like such a risk to let your true self be revealed but every time I do whether it be by setting a boundary or speaking my truth, I am showing myself that I don’t need a facade any more and that me as I am is enough.
PS I did just eat an entire bar of dark chocolate so there’s that. Sometimes being a wonderfully flawed, work in progress means taking a step forward and then immediately taking a step back because that’s what you’ve always done. The difference is this time I recognize that all is not lost and tomorrow is a new day. All I have to do is the next right thing.