In more “tell me something I don’t know news”: learning new things is hard!

Uggggggggggggggggh! So, I received my lighting setup for filming videos about two weeks ago. After conducting a ton of research on filming YouTube videos and what lighting works best, I decided to go with two soft boxes and a ring light.

I have a spare room downstairs where I set up the requisite white Ikea Malm desk for my makeup, affixed a cute shower curtain as a makeshift backdrop and set up my lights with the ring light in front of me and the two soft boxes flanking the frame.

Easy peasy, right?


OMG. I cannot even describe to you what it’s like to see yourself up close and personal, under extremely bright lights, where you can see every pore, every wrinkle and every hormone-induced pimple at a point in your life when you may or may not be having a difficult time with the fact that you are approaching forty.

In a word: horrifying.

As you may have guessed I need a diffuser for my ring light 🙂

I also need to futz around with the settings on my camera to account for this new lighting setup.

When I am feeling a little stronger (read: after some Botox and a root touch-up) I will post a highlight reel of all the cringe worthy moments in this learning process.

Also, editing is a fine art (thank you Captain Obvious).

All of this is to say that I am diligently working in the background to get these videos going. And no, they won’t be polished at first but they will be something we can all look back on for a laugh when I eventually get good…because I will 🙂

I have also been grappling with who I want to project in these videos. Writing has been a much safer medium in that I am far less vulnerable seeing as you are getting to know me through my words and pictures. I can translate my humour, knowledge and passions with words and carefully staged selfies, but there is something so vulnerable about literally putting your face (and chins) out there for all to see.

Remember how I was talking about one of my goals being letting go of the need for outside validation?

After mulling all of this over I came to the conclusion that I am too old for a persona so my “thing” will be me. Take it or leave it.

It’s all about living life without fear and embracing my lady balls.

So, my next mission is to buy a shitty sheer curtain panel from Winners and wrap it around my ring light for a makeshift diffuser. Because Cher Horowitz was on to something with bad lighting…


  1. 💝💝💝💕💕💖💖 your YOU is awesome. (Did that make sense?)

    I hadn’t used my 7x magnification mirror since before Declan was born and just used it this week and whoa, I was not prepared!

    Liked by 1 person

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