For the most part, I have always had long hair (except for that time I got lice at eight years old and my Mom got tired of picking nits from my long, thick hair so had it lopped off into a hybrid mushroom bowl cut – oh 1989 you were a cruel, cruel year) and as is the case with many women, it has also been inextricably linked to my sense of feminity.
Being blonde added another layer: visibility.
As someone who has had a very tumultuous and complicated relationship with their body (that is a whole separate post) and has spent most of their adult life “curvy”, visibility (read: visibility = validation) has been something I have craved on an almost cellular level. That is to say it is very ingrained and something I wholeheartedly would like to let go.
But something has shifted in me recently, which has created this desire to get back to basics.
Just from a purely practical standpoint, not having to maintain blonde hair will be a welcome relief, but I also felt like tearing down the image of the “bubbly blonde” that has followed me for a good decade now. It has been limiting in many ways, one of which being my intellectual confidence.
I will be 37 this year and I am so done with living my life placing unnecessary importance on the thoughts and opinions of others when it comes to the way I look. I am also done with placing unnecessary importance on the perceived thoughts and opinions of others regarding my appearance because, let’s be honest, I have that #crazy going on too.
So I’m trying something new: confidence from the inside out, with no crutches (i.e. blonde hair) to get to a place of acceptance. The theme is no fear in 2018 so I’m Veronica’ing alllllllllll over that bubbly blonde and going to see what happens.
That’s two serious posts in a row! I will have my video setup at our new house and promise to post some fun reviews, tutorials and “chit chat get ready with me’s” (#youtube).
Stick with me, follow my blog and let’s see where this crazy adventure takes us!